I was reading on one of my blogs (but now, of course, I can't find it) about all the rules we fat ladies are supposed to studiously observe while getting dressed in the morning. You know: don't wear horizontal stripes, don't wear prints that are "too large" or "too small" (by occult definitions of these terms understood only by lady mags), don't wear bright colors, and for god sakes put on some Spanx! The horrifying punishment for violation of these rules is that someone might notice you are fat! ZOMG! because otherwise they totally wouldn't! As a fat lady it is (supposedly) your duty to work hard to take as little visual real estate as humanly possible least you offend the innocent passerby with your fatitude. Don't get me wrong, if you like dressing according to any or all of these rules, have fun (but are you really super sure about the Spanx, because come on how much do you need to feel like a sausage?). Just so long as we are all clear that these are not really rules, no one is going to shoot you for breaking them, and you can absolutely be fabulous and beautiful without them, and in any case you are under no obligation to please anyone, ever, by how you look. The great grand-daddy rule (as the mythical blog post which I can not find points out), and one that leaves you most out of current trends, is no oversize or loose clothing ever, so I today is dedicated to fat ladies in loose clothes.
Lady with a Lute, Bartomelo Veneto, 1500s
La Liseuse, Jean-Francois de Troy 1700s
Merchant's Wife, Boris Kustodiev, 1918
Liselotte, Pierre Mignard, 1675
The Merchant's wife is my favorite because I can't look at it without thinking "now there's someone who knows how to live". She has her cat, a fabulous breakfast spread, tea, and a silk dressing gown. That's winning at life.
As a special bonus this week (sorry again non-US readers): we have my favorite female character on Television, identifying everything wrong in the world:
1 comments:
I hate Spanx -- probably for much the same reason that I hate cigarettes -- I really like to breathe.
Oh, The Merchant's Wife is definitely to be emulated.
Also: your dad and i are big In Plain Sight fans -- one of few shows on which we arefans to the same degree.
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