Ruffles Not Diets

Normally I only post outfits that I really like.  I'm vain like that. . . Or maybe that's the point of fashion blogging, either way.  This time, however I am wondering if any of my lovely readers have a suggestion for this almost good outfit. Do you ever have an item that you don't wear forever for actually really good reasons, forget those really good reasons and see it in your closet and think "oh this is so cute, why don't I ever wear that"? Yeah, pretty much that.
I saw this dress in my closet and thought it would be perfect for a really hot day of the sort that precludes wearing most of the things I like: layered pieces, velvet or other heavy fabrics, petticoats (that one's particularly painful), or cardigans and other wraps.  But this is cute and 100% cotton, or so I was thinking.

You see the problem: heinous bra-strappage, which is indicative of the larger problem, that this dress  is just ready to slip right off the shoulder because the bodice is really, really loose.   Short of re-cutting and sewing the whole damn bodice, which I don't want to do, there is nothing I can see to do about the fit.  I am trying to decide if wearing a blouse under the dress would fix it.  That would ruin the oh-so-light summer-y-ness, but it's a really cute dress and the ribbon always reminds me of those traditional German dress the waitresses (wenches?) at Octoberfest wear and so I always think of it as more autumnal anyway.  I usually wear it with a cardigan, helping the bra strap but not the non-pictorially obvious cleavage preparing for world domination problem.


Outfit details
Dress: Handmade with wild and obviously flawed size extrapolation from one of the base patterns in Built by Wendy: Dresses
Headband: Target
Tights: Torrid
Bra (hey it's part of the outfit at this point): Cacique by Lane Bryant
Necklace: Gift shop from the Lucy exhibit at Houston Natural History Museum
Shoes: Crocs (I know, right).

Celebrated the end of my damage induced nail polish fast  with Hello Kitty decals from Sephora

First, Rock, with the ever fabulous Beth Ditto:




And Xelle (pronounced X-L, which I love way too much) brings us a party in a subway car:



PS: If anyone can tell me where the phrase "Rock! Party!" shouted by an androgynously voiced Japanese singer before the opening strains of a J-Rock song come from they will be my hero, because I have it stuck in my head, and until I can hear the rest of the song it will likely stay here.

PPS: I'll be doing the 30-day Lolita challenge on my tumblr, and may post a summary or two here, if anyone is interested in following along (be warned: I am kind of addicted to tumblr and post alor).

I recommend this book (Whipping Girl: a Transexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serrano) all the time.  If I know you IRL there is an approximately 70% chance I have recommended this book to you. So it only made sense in general to have it as my first recommendation for this blog.  However, beyond my love for this book, there is another reason that I am starting with it, which is that it is an extremely important book for any lolita or femmy sort of person to read.  Here Serrano makes a powerful case for the idea that the disdain and contempt people within and without feminist or queer communities have for things girly reflects not the inherently oppressive nature of these things, but negative associations and stereotypes of woman.  Simply, we perceive fashion, makeup, high heels, etc as frivolous, silly, and done exclusively for the sexual gratification of men, because we believe those things about women:

We need to recognize that anyone who assumes that femininity is inherently weak, passive, and only exists to appease men is merely promoting a male-centric view of femininity.
By [talking about] empowering femininity, I don’t mean we should all be more feminine. I’m saying we should strip from it all its negative connotations. The argument that there is something inherently contrived and passive and subordinate about expressing yourself femininely leaves women in a double bind. -- Quoted in this interview with Julia Serrano (which serves as a pretty good introduction to, or even condensation of, the book).

Because lolita is a hyper-feminine style of dress I have noticed many of the negative assumptions about femininity bleed into stereotypes about lolita fashion.  One of the strangest, to my mind, is that lolitas dress this way to please men.  Now, in addition to the fact that a cursory examination of the lolita tumblr and blog-o-sphere should reveal that a pretty significant chunk of the community (at least in the west) is not that way inclined, when's the last time you overheard a groups of dudebros talking about how sex-ay high-waisted blouses, booty-obscuring silhouettes, and bloomers are?  What's that? Never you say?  Yeah, me neither.  Where, then is this idea of doing it for the menz coming from?  I think it's from the idea that feminine gender expression is always a tool women use to get men, and never something a woman really just wants to wear or do.

The idea that femininity is only ever preformed to please men includes within it, even among people who would never cotton to such an idea, the implication that women exist only for men.  The idea that preforming femininity makes one weak implies that women are weak, that they can only gain strength, independence, and self-determination by becoming more like men.  I call bull shit, and so does Julia Serrano, but perhaps more eloquently and with better research.

Professionalism in dress is a slightly weird thing in library land, since as a professional culture we are unconcerned with clothes and this usually means dress guidelines are something along the lines of "erm, yeah, wear clothes".*   This tendency is mirrored in academic culture, and therefore even stronger in academic libraries.  For instance, I have often heard the advice that when working in a service profession one should try to dress about one step nicer than the average patron.  Our average patron is a science grad student, so as long as my nerdy and/or swag t-shirt isn't stained or a legitimate bio-hazard....
 If we have a dress code I have never heard of it.  On the other hand, this attitude means people find it odd, even a little suspicious, when you dress at all fancily.  I have never been told I was dressed too casually (even on that day that I actually wore my one pair of jeans and a t-shirt, in fact I believe I was complemented that day, but it was a nerdy t-shirt), but have gotten a comment or two suggesting I might be a bit over-dressed.  I personally as both disinclined and don't feel comfortable dressing as casually as I could, not just get away, but be considered perfectly well-dressed, with.

Below are two work outfits.  The first is in fact the upper limit of formality that I can get away with (and I think might have elicited comment had the Dean of Libraries not been visiting that day).  I actually myself think of this one as pretty office-appropriate and would consider wearing it (with different hair, foot and leg-wear, obviously) to an interview or something.
Blouse: Lane Bryant outlet
Belt: Torrid
Skirt, Socks: Target
Shoes: T.U.K.




This one is obviously much less formal and, while eccentric, considered totally acceptable by my colleagues and boss.

Tights, Hat: Torrid (best opaque tights ever)
Shirt: Think Geek
Skirt: Rose Mortem
Same shoes as above
Hair ribbons (for both, son't know why I have been in such a braided pigtail mood lately): 1$ ribbon bin in Michael's





*Except for front of the house public library work, which has most of the usual constraints of dealing with the public.

Hopefully this will be another regular feature.  I got the idea from the late lamented "Huge", a surprisingly nuanced, thoughtful, and feeling show about kids at fat camp:



Summary for Non-US readers: In a crappy summer camp cabin Niki Blonsky is cutting up teen magazines: "It is my duty as an angry feminist to destroy it."
Catty girl: "So I guess you can't afford your own magazines"
Angelic Blonde: "Don't even talk to her"
Niki Blonsky "Yeah, don't even talk to me." *defiant shirt removal*
Angelic Blonde (looking at pictures of classical art fat ladies stuck all over Niki Blonsky's bed post and officially rationed wall space): What's that?
Niki Blonsky: "It's fatspiration"
Angelic Blonde scoffs in disgust at Blonsky's failure to understand that fat ladies are ugly and she really ought to hate herself.

In the show this was a response to Angelic Blonde posting a whole lot of "thinspiration", or pictures of skinny women meant to "inspire" the viewer to become thin and beautiful instead of being fat and disgusting.  Thinspiration was originally a practice encouraged on pro-ana sites but has migrated to mainstream dieting practice (because what's a better idea than taking cues from people devoted to promoting their own and others' mental disorders? amiright).  Oh course unlike its thinner, disturbed sister fatspiration is not about promoting the idea that only fat is beautiful or that you should be trying to make yourself fatter.  That's just silly. It's about showing that all bodies can have beauty (and not in some crappy inner beauty kind of way) including, most importantly, your own.  This of course includes thin people, but yours truly is fairly convinced the documentation of beautiful thin people has been well-covered,oh, pretty much everywhere.

Since most of the "fat ladies in art" you find is classical; I decided to start with one of my favorite contemporary artists: Ursula Vernon.

All Images are exclusive copyright of Ursula Vernon re-posted with permission.


Special bonus not-really-fat-not-not-model-waifish picture just cause awesome

I recently started tumbl-ing (I think that should be the term) and ran across a very disturbing story making the rounds:

Going forward I am going to try to do an outfit of the day post about once a week.  I have just been distracted by all the many things I have been wanting to write about for awhile that this got shunted to the wayside.  I have also been learning to take better outfit snaps thanks tho these awesome tutorials from Iron Cage Skirt.  I am not saying my work is up to the standard of that blog at all, but these are certainly better than earlier photos I have done.

















Today was a beautiful day.  Unlike the last few weeks when the highs have been pushing 90*, the high today would be a blessed 74, combined with the fact that I don't have work or class that means I wear whatever I want. No matter how slightly en-hottening or unprofessional. I will save a longer discussion of professional dressing in the academic library world for another post, but suffice it to say, I am allowed to dress pretty weirdly, but as an intern very imminently entering the job market I try to dress in such a way that, when called for a recommendation, my boss will talk about my work and reliability and forget to mention anything about how I dress kinds weird because it isn't that notable. This is just a few steps removed from that.

Falling out of an attempted balletic pose.  Damn long timer

Since it was cool I finally had the chance to try on my new knee socks from Target.  I have had issues before with finding knee socks that fit around my thick footballer calves**, but Target socks aways seem to be fit-able.  I have a pair of ostensible OTK socks that come slightly over the bottom of my knees reliably so I bought up a few pairs of knee socks last time I was in Target.  The punky Hello Kitty socks I wanted to wear didn't even pretend to work, which I mostly expected since they were intarsia and that isn't really limits stretch, but the solid and stripey ones worked.  Although I have to note that my calves are the same circumference, but one of these socks went up to my knee and the other was about 2 inches shy, which I consider okay but wtf?

Outfit Details:
Skirt, Socks: Target
Blouse: Milanoo***
Choker: 3/4 yd. of lace from the Golden D'Or, a skeezy but amazing fabric store in Dallas
Earrings: Baby Loves Pink
Ballet-lacing over-socks: Victorian Trading Company
Purse: Goodwill
Headbows: Handmade

And here's a random picture of the flowers I bought from the selection of cheap bouquets at Trader Joe's, pretty nice for 4$, eh?

*For reference I lose the ability to do anything besides sip ice tea in front of the air conditioner at 85
** This is my polite way of saying the people who write sizing guidelines for Sock Dreams are a bunch of lying whores, but I keep trying to order from them anyway.
*** I ordered it before I had read much of their shady reputation.  My assessment based on reading several accounts is that they farm out the manufacture of their garments to multiple shops, some of which produce decent quality and some of which don't.  I think this is reason enough to avoid them in the future (because how can you tell what you'll get), but the blouses I did buy from them are pretty decent, a bit too tight and otherwise more off-the-rack fitting considering I had them custom made, otherwise reasonably good.

Dancer from Russia's "Big Ballet"

Us librarian types love a good reading list.  It's right up there with shushing.  If you are new to the world of fat acceptance or just want to learn more about it, here is my carefully curated introductory reading list.  I'll also post more reading recommendations later on, and update this list when and if I find more.

Books:
Rethinking Thin by Gina Kolata: In my opinion this is the ultimate, and if you don't read anything else on this list read this.  It is essentially a literature review (as written by a journalist, therefore an engaging version of  a literature review) of a battery of scientific studies that prove primarily: no one knows how to make fat people thin, no one knows how to make thin people fat and fat biological parents have fat children regardless of where they are raised and visa-versa for thin people, and that there is little to no evidence that obesity in itself (except at the very extreme end) has a negative effect on mortality.

Screw Inner Beauty (Known in most of the world as Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere but I really prefer the Australian title, more on that later): This is a more socio-political and personal take on fat acceptance, and primarily discusses both the ramifications of fat in society and how you as an individual can accept/love your body and think about eating and exercise in a post-dieting/weight loss way. That was a little scattered, but um, try it, you'll like it.

Blogs
Now I must shame-facedly admit that actually I mostly didn't read all that many FA books, I mostly just read blogs, here is a listing of canonical blog posts, without descriptions as this way I may eventually publish this shiz.

Health and Nutrition

But Isn't Fat Unhealthy?: you've seen this one before, but it bears repeating.
Health at Every Size: Choice or Coercion: this is probably the best summary of Health at Every Size I have read, even better than the HAES Manifesto, which you would think...
Weight Science: Evaluating the Evidence for a Paradigm Shift: It's peer-reviewed!
Eat Food, Stuff you Like, As Much as You Want
Food Isn't Poison

Fatshion and Visibility

Why the Pictures Matter: This is why I *Heart* Lesley Kinzel so hard and why I post pictures too
The Fat Body (In)Visible: very cool documentary about fat visibility and fashion, NSFW in the first and last few minutes due to pictures from the Adipositivity project
I Spy with my Fat Eye; On Seeing and Being Seen

Other



The Awesome Power of No
Why are you so Fat? It was Gnomes.

Other Stuff

From: Fatpocalypse

BMI Project: Pictures of different people and what their BMI.  It is incredibly revelatory, especially the "overweight" category.

The Museum of Fat Love: because it's adorable.

Shapely Women (which is where I got the image on the banner): an interesting blog of art depicting women of all sizes from many different periods.

Well I have made the promised (or any way mentioned) makeup tutorials, but the sound on my camera was wonky so they are not narrated. Never fear there is extensive narration below!  I also could not get my video editing software (any of the three programs!) to add a soundtrack.  I swear I have successfully done this before *grumble, grumble*.  At the bottom is my suggested listening is my suggested listening (and yes, my musical tastes really are this all over the map).

*Simultaneous disclaimer and self-promotion*: I once unsuccessfully tried my hand at the world of door to door makeup lady sales and still have a mark shop.  I do not actually make money off this venture, and mostly keep my rep status for the discount, so if I recommend a mark product it is genuinely because I think it is the best of a certain type or best in price class.  For instance their eye shadows really are the best I have used and I like their eco-friendly packing and the customized palettes (although they keep narrowing the color range, what is up with that?).  Their brushes are the best I have used that cost less than 20-50$, they even genuinely compete with ones in those price class.

First I created a tutorial that simulates the classic fifties glamor look, using red and black. I also managed to find a red and black top in my wardrobe and quickly remembered why I never wear it.  No top should be that much trouble to keep covering one's bra.
The video starts post foundation, so I will just say that this look requires even skintone and a very matte finish.  In summer when my heavier make up melts off (and in this video, therefore) I use a green primer, Clinique redness solutions daily protective base with sunscreen in this case, and Coty Airspun loose powder, which is a great but hard to find very matte powder, usually CVS has it.



Start by applying neutral eye makeup with a good rounded eye shadow brush. I use a matte ivory/off-white above the crease, although I suggest using whatever shade is about 2 shades lighter than your own skintone (this is mark eye shadow in whisper), and a shimmer-y pink below the crease (fairy dust is the shade name) which is still subtle but gives the eyes a little pop. The light eye makeup if both classic '50's and will make the upcoming black line look clean and dramatic.Using an angled eye shadow brush pick up a subtle plum (plum velvet) and lightly brush it just into the crease to add depth.
 Now that the shadow is done I'll draw the line, (never do this first or it will just be covered over with shadow). I am using L'Oreal HIP gel liner, which I have always found at Ulta and most drugstores,  with an angled eyeliner brush (the one that comes with, unlike most free brushes inside makeup packaging, is pretty good, but short-handled so using a professional brush makes it a little easier to use, mine was taken off my mom during a de-stash so I have no idea who makes a good one, but Sephora pro brushes are usually a safe bet). If you have never tried gel or cream liner I think you're in for a pleasant surprise. It is easy to put on, long wearing, and provides a really clean line.
Scrap one side of the brush across the liner and scrape any excess off onto the edge of the pot. Pull the edge of your eye taught, and just draw the line across in a smooth movement, then go back and fill in any missing spots (gel liner is alot more forgiving on this than pencil or liquid as it can fill in right up to the lashes thanks to a softer texture).
 Now just whack on some mascara, a step that is only difficult or requiring any tricks if you have crappy mascara -- of course it always requires you to make weird faces, true fact. My favorite is Bad Gal Lash by Benefit but last time I needed mascara Sephora didn't have a trial size (which I have never used up within three months anyway) so this is Maybeline Falsies in Dramatic Black, which is pretty good.
If you are using heavier foundation, at this point you can apply some light, matte pink blush to the apples of your cheeks (a shade that is crazy hard to find after the success of NARS Orgasm and the every-blush-must-be-sparkly craze, in fact the mark blush I was going to suggest no longer comes in the two matte shades, bastards).
For good strong lipstick colors you should always use an lipliner, as this makes the lipstick stay much better and will keep the color from bleeding off of your lips. Try to find something long-wearing in a shade close to your natural lip-color (I know, I know, the beauty industry is so unfair to the pasty that this is the closest I found). I like this one pretty well, it is covergirl outlast smoothwear. Anyway, no tricks here, just draw a strong line at the edge of the natural contours of your lips.  You can also lightly fill in the lips, to make it long wearing but this tens to make it feel less comfortable.
Now all you have to do is fill it in with lipstick. I am using Revlon's Certainly Red. In my opinion Revlon does red lipstick better than anyone else, department stores included, and it's long wearing and doesn't feather. Another big plus is that Revlon lipsticks look on your lips what they look like on the tube, unlike most drugstore brands.  Certainly Red is a strong true red, with no hint of blue or orange tint. If you have very cool coloring or want a more pink/fuchsia leaning shade Cherries in the Snow is the classic '50's shade, and if you have a warmer yellow complexion, try Fire and Ice.
If you do stupidly color outside the lines with your lipstick (like I did), it's no big deal. Just wipe it off and cover with powder. As far as I can tell lip-liner is actually a magic circle and color outside it fades quickly and quietly. Anyway, that's it! You now have a very glamorous fifties look appropriate for the next Man Men party one of your extremely white friends throws, a good very corporate goth look, or the basis for a really sweet diesel-punk outfit, if I may suggest: Robot Jane Mansfield.

The next video shows how to use this slightly demure look as a basis for a fairly intense, sultry, smoky, burgundy evening look.



Okay, to transition the clean fifties look to a darker club or evening look (assuming your lipstick has mostly worn off) take a different non-angled eyeliner brush and pick up a black/charcoal eyeshadow (this is mark corset). Once upon a time I read an interview with the makeup artist from the show Castle in some ladymag saying if you want to do all over black eyeliner use liquid or gel on top and powder or pencil below the eye as the textural difference opens the eye rather than making it look smaller. I have been doing so ever since and Castle makeup artist lady is right! I am going for a smoky thing here so am using powder. Tug at the corner of your eye in an upward fashion to move your bottom lash out of the way and brush along the bottom lash line. This looks good a little messy so it is easy to do.
Next I am using L'Oreal HIP Kohl in Burgundy for the top lash line. I am going to simply brush this along over and slightly above the black gel liner. The only trick here is getting the damn stuff out of the tube. L'Oreal feels that you should just use the applicator which is wedged in like it's mascara but it throws powder all over everywhere. It is okay if you want to re-do your foundation afterwards, but I say balls to that. After trial and error the best way is to drag your eyeliner brush across the applicator after removing it from the tube. Every time I do this I am re-convinced I can just get the powder straight from the tube if I try hard enough, but as you can see that is mere hubris.
Now you are just re-doing your lipstick as before. This time I am using Revlon Black Cherry, and being a little more careful with the application. The finger thing keeps lipstick off your teeth, but looks vaguely pornagraphic (maybe I am just a prude). Speaking of lipstick tricks, it is true that lightly blotting your lipstick onto a tissue makes it wear longer and transfer less, but it is not perfect and you lose the faint luster of good lipstick. I prefer a sealant like Benefit she-laq and four out of five dates agree (the fifth one I think secretly wants to wear lipstick).  Oh, and if you are only concerned about wear not transfer, I find the Revlon looks good for a few hours with nothing done to it at all.
Now I unclip and shake out my bangs, always arrange your bangs after makeup unless your mascara color is a match or your hair color, just saying.

I just discovered the blog Sophistique Noir and am completely in love with it for verily is it full of elegant, tasteful goth-y outfits.  VictorianKitty's work-wear is an inspiration to all of us who like to dress weird, but not nearly so much as we like to keep out jobs and not lose career opportunities.

The result of all this blog-love is that I decided to participate in Red and Black week, click the icon to the left to find more.  Since red is not a color I have much of in my personal wardrobe I made some polyvore coordinates instead of an outfit post.  Since this is for a goth blog-around I am amping up the gothiness beyond what I am calling blogular average, thus will you see a top hat (actually, I need that top hat), stripy tights, and an honest to god Victorian mourning parasol. I am thinking of doing a red and black makeup tutorial (classic '50's red lips with black eyeliner) as this is something I do all the time and I haven't done a makeup tutorial in forever.  I'll see if I have time.


For this first outfit I went with an elegant, opulent mood and a slightly more Victorian feel, thus does it have a bustle skirt and frilly blouse.  This also highlights what thinking outside the lolita box can do for a plus-sized lolita wardrobe.  The blouse is from Clockwork Couture, a steampunk shop with a lot of lolita potential, especially in the blouse and accessory departments.  Many goth and steampunk labels have stuff that makes nice additions to a lolita wardrobe and they tend to be a lot more size friendly.  Anyway, end of lecture.  I want that corset with a fierceness.


For the second outfit I wanted to contrast with a more casual, even punk-y feel.  I also wanted to demonstrate using a brand accessory with an exclusive print in a coordinated outfit that does not otherwise include the print, as exclusive-print-lust has been known to drive even the most sanguine plus-sized lolita mad with frothy rage (or worse, despair) at brands that only produce dresses in one size.  Also how could I resist incorporating A+P's Vampire Graveyard for this particular event.  I just couldn't.

PS: If you saw this post before there was text, sorry about that.  I really must straighten out the difference between "save draft" and "publish post"

After our discussion of iced tea yesterday, I wanted to make some co-ordinates inspired by the classic (even stereotypical) southern belle look.  Of course they are based around OP (one-piece) dresses because when sitting out doors in a Savanah summer you hardly want extra layers. Similarly I stuck with tights, usually patterned, rather than socks for cool-ness.

For this first one I started with the idea of Shiro for a sun-drenched land.  I think off-white and ivory are softer and maybe a bit more classic than stark white.  With a little deletion and some slightly less eccentric shoes I even think you could get away with it for your next DAR meeting.

This one is inspired by the old-school sweet look.  For this I thought "What would Momoko wear to the Methodist Missionary Society's Ladies' Tea?"* Upon reflection I think the tights are a bit off.



This collection wouldn't be complete without a co-ord for the slatternly fading Southern Belle (for reference, see any Tennessee Williams play).  It is a bit less modest and pushes the bounds of good taste just a bit.  She wears black, no doubt to mourn her innocence, thrown away on a man who is, upon reflection, obviously a closet case. I paired the black with ivory, both because I feel it is a sadly under-used pairing and because I feel black and white is a bit more youthful, and this a bit more "faded" and antique looking.