We are finally getting fall-ish weather! This outfit is from last week when it even got decidedly chilly for a bit there. I always get kind of over-excited and start dressing for much colder weather than has yet arrived at this time of year, so I am trying to restrain myself. My favorite part of Fall is being able to wear long socks again after months of stockings. I bought these on Sock Dreams in the middle of summer because they were on sale and have been looking forward to wearing them ever since. I have a very exciting life. I also spent labor day weekend making my hair moar purple! (well, not the whole weekend) so now is the time for purple stripey socks.
Outfit Details
Dress: Target, years ago, with Malco Modes 580 petti
Cardigan: egl_comm_sales, and allegedly custom made
Necklace: Things Celtic, in Austin
Earrings: Target Halloween jewlery, this year
I found this photo was very Wednesday Adams, not just for the braided pigtails, although that is part of why I like braided pigtails, but because I seems to have a vague sense of ennui and weariness with the world.
Of course great bat 2$ earring mean I was not then experiencing such weariness, it's just really hard to take a picture of your own face without doing something weird.
Posted by
Varina
The above quote is from Bossypants by Tina Fey and was originally spoken by Amy Poehler on her first day as a writer on SNL when, after she had made a loud vulgar joke, one of the male writers said something along the lines of "ew, that isn't cute, I don't like it". She responded by dropping what she was doing, looking him in the eye and responding "I don't fucking care if you like it" and continuing on. The whole book is worth that scene in my opinion, because that sentence is something we as women really need to say more often.
I bring this up because as I was reading Kitty Lovett's post on lipstick today and I have so many thoughts (not on lipstick colors, I mean sometimes, but on beauty/fashion rules in general) so instead of writing a comment-novel I am posting here. If you wear a lot of makeup or extreme or dramatic makeup (like cool-colored or black lipstick) at some point it will be man-splained to you that guys don't really it when girls wear a lot of makeup, which is a) BS, b) almost astonishingly hetero-normative, but if you shrug and say "what if I don't like guys" dude will stammer and then swear that he also has his finger on the pulse of lesbian sartorial preferences, and c)it is pretty much guaranteed that the person saying this to you is not someone you want to sleep with anyway. The best part is how often this guy will act like he is a feminist hero for saying this, liberating the ladeeyz from their make up routines. We are supposed to respond by thanking our man-splainer and realizing the folly of our ways and going home to clean off our makeup and buy an equal quantity of products which effect a natural look (because as Miss Kitty rightly said, nude lipstick is every bit as artificial as dark turquoise). What I suggest you actually do, is look said dudebro in the eye and say "I don't care if you like it"*.
As women we are socialized to try and be like-able and to not stand up for ourselves and the things we like if they go against popular opinion. We are socialized to try to please everyone all the time. We are encouraged to: make ourselves up to look like we aren't wearing makeup, but never to not wear make up, to carefully dress in order to minimize large breasts or maximize small breasts (is there an okay breast size? I don't know), or butts, or hips, to re-shape our actual, not just clothed bodies, by any means necessary, and it goes without saying, to dress in the latest trends while avoiding being "a slave to fashion" or a "brainless trendoid". Often the carrot for this epic battle of contradictory expectations is supposed to be some dude who doesn't even appreciate us for who we actually are, because he can't; he's never met that person.
I think the path to liberation comes from being ready and willing to say to all comers: "I don't care if you like it". Of course there are some people whose opinions you do care about. That's fine. Really life is better if you have people you care about whose opinion you respect, but that's not what I am talking about. Just remember that you get to choose whose opinion you value, no one automatically gets that status. Women's choices about what we chose to do or not do with our bodies are often policed by random dudes on the street, or at a party, or just by the fear of the reactions of people we don't know or really care about, not really. We feel like we ought to because humans are social animals and women are encouraged to be extra-social and pleasing, but really, you don't care if they like it.
Additional Reading: You Don't Have to Be Pretty.
* Or, if you are in an un-safe situation, just think it because the really important thing is to remind yourself.
PS: This may be incoherent rambling as I currently have a mild cold and a fever. If that is the case, just follow the link at the bottom and read Bossypants.
I bring this up because as I was reading Kitty Lovett's post on lipstick today and I have so many thoughts (not on lipstick colors, I mean sometimes, but on beauty/fashion rules in general) so instead of writing a comment-novel I am posting here. If you wear a lot of makeup or extreme or dramatic makeup (like cool-colored or black lipstick) at some point it will be man-splained to you that guys don't really it when girls wear a lot of makeup, which is a) BS, b) almost astonishingly hetero-normative, but if you shrug and say "what if I don't like guys" dude will stammer and then swear that he also has his finger on the pulse of lesbian sartorial preferences, and c)it is pretty much guaranteed that the person saying this to you is not someone you want to sleep with anyway. The best part is how often this guy will act like he is a feminist hero for saying this, liberating the ladeeyz from their make up routines. We are supposed to respond by thanking our man-splainer and realizing the folly of our ways and going home to clean off our makeup and buy an equal quantity of products which effect a natural look (because as Miss Kitty rightly said, nude lipstick is every bit as artificial as dark turquoise). What I suggest you actually do, is look said dudebro in the eye and say "I don't care if you like it"*.
As women we are socialized to try and be like-able and to not stand up for ourselves and the things we like if they go against popular opinion. We are socialized to try to please everyone all the time. We are encouraged to: make ourselves up to look like we aren't wearing makeup, but never to not wear make up, to carefully dress in order to minimize large breasts or maximize small breasts (is there an okay breast size? I don't know), or butts, or hips, to re-shape our actual, not just clothed bodies, by any means necessary, and it goes without saying, to dress in the latest trends while avoiding being "a slave to fashion" or a "brainless trendoid". Often the carrot for this epic battle of contradictory expectations is supposed to be some dude who doesn't even appreciate us for who we actually are, because he can't; he's never met that person.
I think the path to liberation comes from being ready and willing to say to all comers: "I don't care if you like it". Of course there are some people whose opinions you do care about. That's fine. Really life is better if you have people you care about whose opinion you respect, but that's not what I am talking about. Just remember that you get to choose whose opinion you value, no one automatically gets that status. Women's choices about what we chose to do or not do with our bodies are often policed by random dudes on the street, or at a party, or just by the fear of the reactions of people we don't know or really care about, not really. We feel like we ought to because humans are social animals and women are encouraged to be extra-social and pleasing, but really, you don't care if they like it.
Additional Reading: You Don't Have to Be Pretty.
| "Over" made up and under-concerned |
* Or, if you are in an un-safe situation, just think it because the really important thing is to remind yourself.
PS: This may be incoherent rambling as I currently have a mild cold and a fever. If that is the case, just follow the link at the bottom and read Bossypants.
Posted by
Varina
How to dress for school is a big issue for goths and other alternative fashionistas. Teens have to deal with possible school dress codes and parental expectations/beliefs. College students rarely have to worry about dress codes, but are often suddenly dealing with a lot less time and money. Grad school varies. In most fields it is basically like college (but magnify that time issue), but if you are in a professional school like I am then it is often somewhat like dressing for work . There likely still aren't formal dress codes but many professional students are encouraged to dress according to the informal standards of their profession (and "professional dress" is often a code-word for mainstream or conservative). Often you will end up needing recommendations or making useful connections
through your professors, and all of your classmates are potential future colleagues. This last consideration is especially noteworthy to me as, in the long run, I plan on getting a PhD in my field and Library/Information science is a teeny-tiny field where everybody knows each other. I would argue that none of this suggests you ought to try and hide or downplay your subcultural associations. After all, when the person you are meeting is someone who, in a few years, you legitimately could be skyping with at 2 in the morning to discuss a conference poster for a project you collaborated on, you really need to consider how long term you are willing to hide your spooky self.* Also, a semester is a long enough period of time for anyone who comes in with negative stereotypes to realize you are a srs bizness academic. For myself, while I feel no need to tone down any gothiness, I do take care to be neat, modest, and, at least at first, avoid any sexualised elements (like corsets, even over a blouse which would be perfectly modest) and really cliche elements or to keep them in highly stylized version (ie: this skull necklace, not this one).
You've seen most of this outfit before, but here I have styled it completely differently.
Skirt: Rose Mortem
Camisole: Soma Intimates
Bolero: Lane Bryant Outlet
Hair Flower: Wet Seal, originally a too-small headband so I attached it to a hair clip.
Earrings + Necklace: Art of Adornment.
*I also agree with what the Lady of the Manner had to say about the virtue of "easing in" to dressing goth in this recent article.
You've seen most of this outfit before, but here I have styled it completely differently.
Skirt: Rose Mortem
Camisole: Soma Intimates
Bolero: Lane Bryant Outlet
Hair Flower: Wet Seal, originally a too-small headband so I attached it to a hair clip.
Earrings + Necklace: Art of Adornment.
*I also agree with what the Lady of the Manner had to say about the virtue of "easing in" to dressing goth in this recent article.
Category:
Fall,
fashion,
outfits,
school
3
comments
Posted by
Varina
![]() |
| Image by Kraybon |
Every semester, as sure as anything, come out a flurry of articles and posts about the costs of books for school these days and every year they somewhat baffle me. The average cost is now listed as 1,1367$ per year, but in three and a half years in college and 1 1/2 in grad school I have never spent more than 200$ a semester and usually less than 100$. Now I have studied in cheap fields, textbook wise (although I was a psych minor and psych books are expensive), but that figure is the national average, not the average for Science majors only. Anyway, here is what I know.
Rule #1: Never ever, ever,ever,ever, ever shop at the campus book store. Even the used books are way more expensive than you can get elsewhere. There are no other rules, the rest is strategy.
Textbooks vs. monographs vs workbooks: a definition of terms
Textbooks, for this discussion anyway, are large usually multi-authored works meant to be an encyclopedic overview of the established facts of a certain subject. They have bland titles like "Introduction to Calculus" and "Data Security in a New Millennium". These are the most expensive new, but there exist a few strategies for dealing with them. Monographs on the other hand are single or (not technically, but for this discussion) team authored works which present a specific, possibly contested, point of view on a very focused subject and have titles like "Subjects of the Sultan: Culture and Daily Life in the Ottoman Empire" or "Double Fold: Libraries and the Assault on Paper", so dramatic/artistic vague title: explanatory, usually long sub-title. The good news is that they can usually be gotten cheaply. The bad news is that classes that assign them usually assign like six of them. Workbooks generally are median expensive and have to be bought new, so really you pretty much have to eat that cost. Sorry.
Getting Books for Free
The Interwebs: Your ability to get your book for free (legally) on the internet is substantially dependent on your discipline and almost exclusively limited to monographs and novels. If you are in an English class for pre-20th century lit, you can get your books for free (except any textbooks). Certain disciplines, like library/information and computer sciences are offering more and more monographs free online, and some academic publishers like Yale, University of Michigan, and MIT are posting a substantial number of new monographs. To find these, for books published before 1928, go to archive.org or Google Books. Otherwise, google the full book title and look for the book's website or page hosted on the publisher's website. If it's available there will be a link somewhere in there, usually obvious on the front page.
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| Image by: Jonathan Moreau |
Getting Books for Cheap
Aggregated Search Engines: The best deals on books are usually found on used sites, so I used to search through five different sites comparing prices. Lo, then did the aggregated searches appear, and the peasants rejoiced. This is the great secret to cheap books. My favorite is Deal Oz, but if anyone else has a favorite drop it in the comments. Just keep combined shipping possibilities in mind. Also, if your assigned textbook is brand new, be sure to ask your professor if an older edition is okay, because usually it is and superseded editions are dirt cheap.
Textbook Rental: Sometimes these are a great deal, but I find they are rarely much cheaper, and sometimes more expensive, than a used copy. My personal opinion is that they are really only ideal for something like a required class outside your major or field of interest. If it is the introductory class in your major then chances are the textbook will be useful to keep around for future reference. I might just be a book hoarder though.
*Sorry, I went to High School in Austin. It's a thing
Category:
reading,
Reviews,
school
2
comments
Posted by
Varina
For some reason the most zany elements of my dress aesthetic come out when I am in the fabric store. Maybe it is because these days 90% of most fabric stores are either quilting cotton or polar fleece and there are some delightfully deranged minds designing quilting cotton these days (and of course polar fleece is not wearable by anyone over the age of 11, give or take). Maybe it is because so much commercially available plus-sized clothing is matronly, just boring, or really poorly designed and/or constructed (like this sweater, perfect for those days when your arms and chest are freezing but you back is really hot, or when you just want to show off your bra straps) so when I am making something myself part of my brain says "f*** da police! I do what I want!". Regardless, the net result is the same:

In case it is not clear from the picture, this dress has a glitter finish. Also, my three-year-old niece has a dress out of the same fabric. She thinks it is pretty boss too and she is very stylish. I was running errands today (yeah, this is not a work outfit). Apparently Target has their Halloween jewelry in for this year, see right, but none of their other Halloween stuff. I am pretty pleased with this skeletal hands necklace. It's pretty, sparkly, spooky, and, if worn lower (and it has an extension), vaguely pervy.
In case it is not clear from the picture, this dress has a glitter finish. Also, my three-year-old niece has a dress out of the same fabric. She thinks it is pretty boss too and she is very stylish. I was running errands today (yeah, this is not a work outfit). Apparently Target has their Halloween jewelry in for this year, see right, but none of their other Halloween stuff. I am pretty pleased with this skeletal hands necklace. It's pretty, sparkly, spooky, and, if worn lower (and it has an extension), vaguely pervy.
Category:
fashion,
gothic,
outfits
4
comments
Posted by
Varina
There has been some discussion (and much pearl-clutching) around the internet about the possibility of Disney releasing a movie with a fat Princess. I think that would be cool and all (although I worry about the Disney Princess takeover of American girlhood), but I would argue that Disney has already released some pretty awesome fat lady characters...they're just evil witches
Of course the baddest and best dressed is Ursula. In my mind the best thing about Ursula is that she claimed that men would like Ariel better if she couldn't speak, a statement meant to prove how evil and man-hating she was (except it turned out to be true, whoops). What can I say, I like a good cynical bitch.
Now let's talk about Madam Mim (from The Sword in the Stone). Certainly she is less glamorous, but she has a balls-out confidence (not to mention a wide streak of only the most whimsical evil) that can not be beat. She can shape shift to look however she wants and goes through life in her own 3-ft-in-every-direction body
Also, she is sometimes a dragon so just don't mess with her okay.
Of course the baddest and best dressed is Ursula. In my mind the best thing about Ursula is that she claimed that men would like Ariel better if she couldn't speak, a statement meant to prove how evil and man-hating she was (except it turned out to be true, whoops). What can I say, I like a good cynical bitch.
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| Disney Steampunk by Mechanique Fairy on DA |
Also, she is sometimes a dragon so just don't mess with her okay.
Category:
fatspiration,
feminism,
the intertubes
3
comments
Posted by
Varina
I found my holy grail boot for an affordable price in my size!
I searched etsy not really expecting much when I found these perfect slightly elfin post-punk era black boots in my size at 20twenty Vintage (although, for the record, I object to things made in the '80's being considered vintage. I was made in the 80's). They have the perfect medium-wide base 1/2 inch heel that makes that cute little tip-tap noise, are really pointy yet comfortable in the toe area, made of buttery soft leather, and just freaking adorable.
| and yes, they do need to be polished |
*I know combat boots are sort of the goth boot ne plus ultra, and I dig them on other people, but I was an Army brat and like most of my kind often polished combat boots as a punishment. My dad wore knee-length jungle jump boots with narrow panels of netting that you absolutely can not get polish on, which are the worst. There is nothing like associating a style with hard labor and getting told off to put you off it for life.
Category:
fashion,
shoes,
winter
4
comments










