Ruffles Not Diets

I came back from a weekend away from the internet (or even cell service)* to discover that I had been given the Goth Blog award but none other than the fabulous Siouxsie Law whose own blog is one of my favorites. I am extremely chuffed.

The rules are that once awarded one must pass it on to three other goth blogs which one enjoys.  I had quite a time selecting only three, although the field was considerably narrowed by deciding to not re-award any of the brilliant blogs already so honored.  Anyway, my selections:

The Phantom Cat's Otherworld: The Irish Phantom Cat writes on everything from fashion and makeup to music and books, but my favorite posts are when she writes on Irish legend and history with a Gothic twist.  I loving reading about other cultures and places and her writing gives a real sense of place and mood.


Still Dark at Heart: this blog to me exemplifies the best of a personal blog, reading Sal Kaye's blog feels more like checking in with a friend. Her discussions on reclaiming goth identity as a professional are also extremely relevant to me as I enter the professional world.

Black-Clad in Korea: They don't post often, but the posts here tend to be in-depth and extremely interesting, and cover such topics as teaching troubles, classic gothy TV shows, and zombie walks.  It also often makes me nostalgic for my own time as an English teacher in China, for while those are very different countries there are plenty of similarities, the experience of living in a culture radically different from your own is similar. I tend to just lurk there and rarely comment, because I am weird sometimes.

PS: Happy Halloween!  If you haven't done so yet, check out this amazing Halloween light show featuring music from Nightmare before Christmas, and read Simon Pegg discussing why fast zombies are just plain wrong.

For the curious: I was on a knitting retreat deep in rural Pennsylvania (and yes, part of the driving directions included, "turn off the paved road") and spent the weekend doing nothing but knitting, watching zany movies, having absurd conversations with friends, and drinking various mulled beverages.  We were even snowed in; it was brilliant.

Favorite male character: Nobody Owens from The Graveyard Book, who can speak politely across more than five centuries of changing customs, among other things. 

Favorite female character: This one was incredibly difficult and honorable mentions go to Sunny Baudelaire, Alianne from the Trickster books, and of course Luna Lovegood, but if there can be only one: Death of The Endless, because she is so convincingly the person you would want to have a cup of tea and a sit down with at the worst time of your life.

A book that disappointed you: Just the first one that popped into my head, The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo. It was okay, but it was so hyped that my reaction was “meh”.


Favorite book turned into a movie: I am interpreting this as “best movie adaptation”. I don’t think a movie adaptation necessarily has to completely follow the movie to be good, but rather that it should be judged on its own merits. For instance, the relationship between the movie “Adaptation” and The Orchid Thief is so tenuous many people I have discussed to movie with did not realize it was an actual book, but it is a really good movie all the same. I will say that if you turn out a mediocre movie when you had great source material it should count against, but otherwise I don’t think movie adaptations should necessarily be judged through the prism of their books. Which is why my favorite movie adaptation of a book is ….

Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Certainly it changed a number of things from the book, but I think it shared the spirit of the original and can anyone forget the Red Heart SuperSaver Rainbow Ombre vomit when they were all knitted, or Alan Rickman as Marvin…

Favorite book from your childhood: Matilda -- Of course Matilda is a favorite of all girl book nerds, but it was my absolute favorite as a kid. I was gifted, but dyslexic so I had to take normal or even remedial classes where I was not just bored but boooooorrrred. Reading Matilda always made me think that maybe if I was just bored enough I would develop telekinesis. I used to try to levitate chalk when my teachers were being particularly repetitive. I’ll leave it a mystery whether or not it ever worked.

Favorite book you own: *If I can have a moment of disturbing library-nerdery* It only makes sense to me to answer this on the item level. Of course basically anyone who owns books at all probably has a copy of their very favorite work, so if it is ownership that is important then it must by the item level that is being referenced. In that case it can only be my copy of The Globe Illustrated Complete Works of William Shakespeare. It has gilded edges, a puffy-leather cover, and, for that extra touch of pathos, an inner inscription from the original purchaser to the person they bought it for (I got it from a used store) saying they hope the giftee will treasure it all their life.

A book you wanted to read for a long time but still haven’t: The Name of the Rose
It sounds good but I tend to forget about it and read something shinier instead.

A book that you wish more people would’ve read: The Invention of Hugo Cabret - Not only is this book fantastic: magical, dark, transporting, with wonderful crosshatched illustrations, making it a book I have urged many people to read, but I recently discovered they are making it into a movie which, based on the preview, will strip it of all its original virtue, so I want everyone to read it so as not to unfairly judge it by the movie.

A character who you can relate to the most: Chester from Bunnicula - I have always been sarcastic, bookish, and vaguely misanthropic, even as a small child. I don’t have school photos from elementary because I refused to smile for the cameraman as I found him patronizing and cutesy. My mom, upon hearing this explanation, was torn between irritation and being impressed that I knew the word “patronizing” in first grade. Children’s literature doesn’t have many characters to relate to for little misanthropes. Most characters (especially little girls) are adventursome, hearty, sassy, and cheerful, but then there was Chester; a bookish, skeptical, reclusive, slightly paranoid cat, who always had a bon mot and a dark look for any occasion.

A book that changed your opinion about something: Inventing the Victorians: basically this book is all about how our conception of the Victorians as incredibly stuffy and sexually repressed is a complete BS narrative manufactured in the early 20th century as a way of discussing how far society has progressed.

The most surprising plot twist or ending [Therefore at least some degree of spoiler]: I’ll keep it to a minimum, but the very fact of something having a surprise ending is somewhat spoiler-y. Affinity by Sarah Waters -- A few people I have gotten to read this book found it boring and couldn’t hold out for the crazy surprise ending, but really, I don’t understand. It is an atmospheric ghost story that delves into the worlds of Spiritualism/Theosophy and women’s prisons in the Victorian era, all under-girded with simmering sexual tension. I am literally incapable of understanding how that adds up to boring.

Favorite title: The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making. Knowing nothing else about this book but the title, don’t you want to read it?

A book everyone hated but you liked: The Scarlet Letter - I realize that required High School English texts generate a disproportionate amount of hatred, but I was still always surprised by how much everyone hated this one. I liked it.

Your favorite book of all time: I am going to quote Neil Gaiman: “Picking five favorite books is like picking five body parts you’d most like not to lose”. I can’t do it. I genuinely do not have a favorite book, and certainly not a favorite books of all time. I could maybe identify a favorite book for certain periods of my life, but that’s it.

I have been completing this 30 Day Book Challenge on tumblr (as each day's entry is too insubstantial to make a real blog entry) with the idea that I would post the summary here.  However, as it is getting pretty long, I am going to post the first half now and the rest at the end of the month.  I am sure you will all be waiting on tenterhooks of suspense. I have changed a few answers after thinking about them more.

Best book you read in the last year -- Chaos Walking Trilogy/ Monsters of Men
Really the whole series is just mind-blowing, amazing, and oh-this-part-*sob*-ing. In all seriousness it is one of the best written books I have read in years. I never would have expected that "American History in Space" would be a usable trope beyond "Firefly", but it turns out to be really interesting (This series involves really transparent parallels with the settling of North America). I listened to the audio-books, which included some intensely good voice-acting.

A book that you’ve read more than 3 times: Well, there are a few books that fit this, all of the Bunnicula books, the first Few Harry Potters (I started the series after book four came out then re-read before each new book), a few others, but the book I have read the most times is To Kill a Mockingbird.

Your favorite series: A Series of Unfortunate Events is my favorite for being dark, whimsical, funny, and deep all at once. It teaches children that life is complex and messy, mysteries don’t always have tidy, straight-forward solutions, and that one should always consult the library.  I have actually decided (after not being able to find a tattooist locally whose art style I really like) that my graduating-from-library-school tattoo will be a quote from the series: "All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk."
The movies, though, the movies……

Favorite book of your favorite series: Honestly I really don’t have a favorite. Each book has some things I love so whenever I pick a favorite I think “oh, but what about the tooth-sword fight in the miserable mill” or”Dewey Decimal!!11!”, or “that time Sunny did something completely amazing” (every time).
[spoiler alert]
However, I suppose if I had to pick it would be The End, because that is when you realize that no, these mysteries are not going to be tied up in a neat little bow and then we can all go out for sundaes, that, no, life doesn’t work like that. It is that message that in my mind makes the books so f-ing amazing.


A book that makes you happy: Wee Free Men. With it's heady mix of obscure references to traditional British folklore, adorable Pictsies, good vocabulary words, and a protagonist who decides she wants to be a witch because people in her village have an irrational fear of them and so she wants to understand them, this book is a good time.

A book that makes you sad: The Book Thief - Mind it’s one of the best books I have ever read, but also the only book that has made me sob uncontrollably for a solid fifteen minutes. Even on a scale of books about the holocaust it’s affecting, but that’s really just a testament to how amazingly written it is.

Most underrated book: This one was difficult, because I mostly don’t pay much attention to what others think of books, and ultimately I think there are many, many books that deserve to be more widely read than they are. However, as a minor Austenite I am constantly annoyed by how many people swoon over Pride and Prejudice (which I do really love) and make five bajillion movie adaptations out of it while ignoring what I consider to be Austen’s greatest love story: Persuasion. Maybe I love it because it reveals a deep romanticism buried in Austen’s cynical heart, but also, Elizabeth Bennet’s happy ending is true love and getting a fancy house, Anne Elliot gets true love and to sail around the world in a tall ship (much more awesome).

Most overrated book:Now, there are a lot of overrated books out there, so this should really be considered the most overrated one I could think of at the moment which is: On the Road. If I wanted to listen to some middle class white guy talk about how amazingly counter-cultural he is and how awesome it is to flout societie's rules, live like poor people have to, and treat women like fuck-bags I would just go hang out at the local hipster bar (except hipsters are usually less misogynistic).

A book you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving: Ender's Game - This was the first real Sci-Fi book I ever read because I used to be a horrible genre snob. I only read “Literature” and assumed that sci-fi was a bunch of ridiculous crap with jet packs and banging alien babes. However, my best friend in high school would not shut up about this book, so I finally read it, and it was amazing. Now I happily read sci-fi, fantasy, and comic books all the time, and have learned that some of the stuff in every genre is amazing and some of it, even in “proper literature” is total crap.

Favorite classic book: The Hunchback of Notre Dame, because I love me some Victor Hugo for dark tales of moral complexity and corruption.  Also, while I enjoy the Disney movie, it really only shares character names and a setting with the book.

A book you hated: Heart of Darkness - I have come to firmly believe that no one, no one has much of an idea what the hell is going on in this book, but it was labelled one of those “great”, “meaningful” works and so everyone pretends in an attempt to seem intelligent and well-read. When we read it in AP English my teacher went on and on about how you could use this book to answer any essay the AP test ever had, because it means so many different things. Much like everyone being special means nobody is, a book meaning everything, I posit, suggest it doesn’t really mean anything.

A book you used to love but don’t anymore:I couldn’t think of anything. When I think of all the books I have ever loved,I still love them because they remind me of the time in my life when I did. Even if I were to pick them up today and read them for the first time and not care for them at all. You know?

Your favorite writer: Neil Gaiman. I enjoy his work more consistently than any other and I love how he weaves myth and folklore into his stories.

Favorite book of your favorite writer: Stardust - This one is a bit unusual for Gaiman, but it is my favorite. It is magical and romantic and I love the ending for turning the traditional fairy tale ending a bit on it’s head.

Favorite Quote from that Book: “Have been unavoidably detained by the world. Expect us when you see us.”
So, anyone who wasn’t read the book will have no idea why that is my favorite quote, and it would spoil it to explain [so stop reading now and don’t say I didn’t warn you], but for those who have read it: this is the moment that solidifies this book as my favorite, because it subverts the implication that the awesome adventures in a fairy tale are, well, not awesome, and the happily ever only comes when the the adventure is over.

Well I have made the promised (or any way mentioned) makeup tutorials, but the sound on my camera was wonky so they are not narrated. Never fear there is extensive narration below!  I also could not get my video editing software (any of the three programs!) to add a soundtrack.  I swear I have successfully done this before *grumble, grumble*.  At the bottom is my suggested listening is my suggested listening (and yes, my musical tastes really are this all over the map).

*Simultaneous disclaimer and self-promotion*: I once unsuccessfully tried my hand at the world of door to door makeup lady sales and still have a mark shop.  I do not actually make money off this venture, and mostly keep my rep status for the discount, so if I recommend a mark product it is genuinely because I think it is the best of a certain type or best in price class.  For instance their eye shadows really are the best I have used and I like their eco-friendly packing and the customized palettes (although they keep narrowing the color range, what is up with that?).  Their brushes are the best I have used that cost less than 20-50$, they even genuinely compete with ones in those price class.

First I created a tutorial that simulates the classic fifties glamor look, using red and black. I also managed to find a red and black top in my wardrobe and quickly remembered why I never wear it.  No top should be that much trouble to keep covering one's bra.
The video starts post foundation, so I will just say that this look requires even skintone and a very matte finish.  In summer when my heavier make up melts off (and in this video, therefore) I use a green primer, Clinique redness solutions daily protective base with sunscreen in this case, and Coty Airspun loose powder, which is a great but hard to find very matte powder, usually CVS has it.



Start by applying neutral eye makeup with a good rounded eye shadow brush. I use a matte ivory/off-white above the crease, although I suggest using whatever shade is about 2 shades lighter than your own skintone (this is mark eye shadow in whisper), and a shimmer-y pink below the crease (fairy dust is the shade name) which is still subtle but gives the eyes a little pop. The light eye makeup if both classic '50's and will make the upcoming black line look clean and dramatic.Using an angled eye shadow brush pick up a subtle plum (plum velvet) and lightly brush it just into the crease to add depth.
 Now that the shadow is done I'll draw the line, (never do this first or it will just be covered over with shadow). I am using L'Oreal HIP gel liner, which I have always found at Ulta and most drugstores,  with an angled eyeliner brush (the one that comes with, unlike most free brushes inside makeup packaging, is pretty good, but short-handled so using a professional brush makes it a little easier to use, mine was taken off my mom during a de-stash so I have no idea who makes a good one, but Sephora pro brushes are usually a safe bet). If you have never tried gel or cream liner I think you're in for a pleasant surprise. It is easy to put on, long wearing, and provides a really clean line.
Scrap one side of the brush across the liner and scrape any excess off onto the edge of the pot. Pull the edge of your eye taught, and just draw the line across in a smooth movement, then go back and fill in any missing spots (gel liner is alot more forgiving on this than pencil or liquid as it can fill in right up to the lashes thanks to a softer texture).
 Now just whack on some mascara, a step that is only difficult or requiring any tricks if you have crappy mascara -- of course it always requires you to make weird faces, true fact. My favorite is Bad Gal Lash by Benefit but last time I needed mascara Sephora didn't have a trial size (which I have never used up within three months anyway) so this is Maybeline Falsies in Dramatic Black, which is pretty good.
If you are using heavier foundation, at this point you can apply some light, matte pink blush to the apples of your cheeks (a shade that is crazy hard to find after the success of NARS Orgasm and the every-blush-must-be-sparkly craze, in fact the mark blush I was going to suggest no longer comes in the two matte shades, bastards).
For good strong lipstick colors you should always use an lipliner, as this makes the lipstick stay much better and will keep the color from bleeding off of your lips. Try to find something long-wearing in a shade close to your natural lip-color (I know, I know, the beauty industry is so unfair to the pasty that this is the closest I found). I like this one pretty well, it is covergirl outlast smoothwear. Anyway, no tricks here, just draw a strong line at the edge of the natural contours of your lips.  You can also lightly fill in the lips, to make it long wearing but this tens to make it feel less comfortable.
Now all you have to do is fill it in with lipstick. I am using Revlon's Certainly Red. In my opinion Revlon does red lipstick better than anyone else, department stores included, and it's long wearing and doesn't feather. Another big plus is that Revlon lipsticks look on your lips what they look like on the tube, unlike most drugstore brands.  Certainly Red is a strong true red, with no hint of blue or orange tint. If you have very cool coloring or want a more pink/fuchsia leaning shade Cherries in the Snow is the classic '50's shade, and if you have a warmer yellow complexion, try Fire and Ice.
If you do stupidly color outside the lines with your lipstick (like I did), it's no big deal. Just wipe it off and cover with powder. As far as I can tell lip-liner is actually a magic circle and color outside it fades quickly and quietly. Anyway, that's it! You now have a very glamorous fifties look appropriate for the next Man Men party one of your extremely white friends throws, a good very corporate goth look, or the basis for a really sweet diesel-punk outfit, if I may suggest: Robot Jane Mansfield.

The next video shows how to use this slightly demure look as a basis for a fairly intense, sultry, smoky, burgundy evening look.



Okay, to transition the clean fifties look to a darker club or evening look (assuming your lipstick has mostly worn off) take a different non-angled eyeliner brush and pick up a black/charcoal eyeshadow (this is mark corset). Once upon a time I read an interview with the makeup artist from the show Castle in some ladymag saying if you want to do all over black eyeliner use liquid or gel on top and powder or pencil below the eye as the textural difference opens the eye rather than making it look smaller. I have been doing so ever since and Castle makeup artist lady is right! I am going for a smoky thing here so am using powder. Tug at the corner of your eye in an upward fashion to move your bottom lash out of the way and brush along the bottom lash line. This looks good a little messy so it is easy to do.
Next I am using L'Oreal HIP Kohl in Burgundy for the top lash line. I am going to simply brush this along over and slightly above the black gel liner. The only trick here is getting the damn stuff out of the tube. L'Oreal feels that you should just use the applicator which is wedged in like it's mascara but it throws powder all over everywhere. It is okay if you want to re-do your foundation afterwards, but I say balls to that. After trial and error the best way is to drag your eyeliner brush across the applicator after removing it from the tube. Every time I do this I am re-convinced I can just get the powder straight from the tube if I try hard enough, but as you can see that is mere hubris.
Now you are just re-doing your lipstick as before. This time I am using Revlon Black Cherry, and being a little more careful with the application. The finger thing keeps lipstick off your teeth, but looks vaguely pornagraphic (maybe I am just a prude). Speaking of lipstick tricks, it is true that lightly blotting your lipstick onto a tissue makes it wear longer and transfer less, but it is not perfect and you lose the faint luster of good lipstick. I prefer a sealant like Benefit she-laq and four out of five dates agree (the fifth one I think secretly wants to wear lipstick).  Oh, and if you are only concerned about wear not transfer, I find the Revlon looks good for a few hours with nothing done to it at all.
Now I unclip and shake out my bangs, always arrange your bangs after makeup unless your mascara color is a match or your hair color, just saying.

I just discovered the blog Sophistique Noir and am completely in love with it for verily is it full of elegant, tasteful goth-y outfits.  VictorianKitty's work-wear is an inspiration to all of us who like to dress weird, but not nearly so much as we like to keep out jobs and not lose career opportunities.

The result of all this blog-love is that I decided to participate in Red and Black week, click the icon to the left to find more.  Since red is not a color I have much of in my personal wardrobe I made some polyvore coordinates instead of an outfit post.  Since this is for a goth blog-around I am amping up the gothiness beyond what I am calling blogular average, thus will you see a top hat (actually, I need that top hat), stripy tights, and an honest to god Victorian mourning parasol. I am thinking of doing a red and black makeup tutorial (classic '50's red lips with black eyeliner) as this is something I do all the time and I haven't done a makeup tutorial in forever.  I'll see if I have time.


For this first outfit I went with an elegant, opulent mood and a slightly more Victorian feel, thus does it have a bustle skirt and frilly blouse.  This also highlights what thinking outside the lolita box can do for a plus-sized lolita wardrobe.  The blouse is from Clockwork Couture, a steampunk shop with a lot of lolita potential, especially in the blouse and accessory departments.  Many goth and steampunk labels have stuff that makes nice additions to a lolita wardrobe and they tend to be a lot more size friendly.  Anyway, end of lecture.  I want that corset with a fierceness.


For the second outfit I wanted to contrast with a more casual, even punk-y feel.  I also wanted to demonstrate using a brand accessory with an exclusive print in a coordinated outfit that does not otherwise include the print, as exclusive-print-lust has been known to drive even the most sanguine plus-sized lolita mad with frothy rage (or worse, despair) at brands that only produce dresses in one size.  Also how could I resist incorporating A+P's Vampire Graveyard for this particular event.  I just couldn't.

PS: If you saw this post before there was text, sorry about that.  I really must straighten out the difference between "save draft" and "publish post"