Showing posts with label fat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fat. Show all posts

OOTD: Very Pink

As soon as I saw this sweater on the (virtual*) clearance rack last year I knew I had to have it. The color name: Parton Pink.  Dolly Parton and Miss Piggy were pretty much my original style icons, and I will always admire their uncompromising confidence and panache.  Altogether I think it is a good color to be named after Dolly Parton, it is a really full bleed PINK sort of pink, not at all baby-ish, or shocking neon, assertive but strangely orthodox.
I want to get new buttons for the sweater, the pearly shell ones it came with are boring.  I am thinking small jet beads would be perfect.
I also discovered that these socks match almost exactly.  I just realized this despite having both for nearly a year, anyway... I wore them with lace leggings, which combined powers to be surprising warm. Perfect for an afternoon spent failing to get Vietnamese vegan cult buffet (cultists have no work ethic) on a brisk fall day.


Outfit Details
Sweater: Old Navy online
Leggings: Jessica London
Dress: Target, years ago
Jewelry: Target, this season
Socks: handmade





*Old Navy only sells plus sizes online.  I mean, they can't have fat people actually showing up in the store, obvs.  They have free returns shipping so sometimes I like to order things in like four sizes, you know, to try on.  Too bad I couldn't just go to the store...

"I Don't Care if You Like it!"

The above quote is from Bossypants by Tina Fey and was originally spoken by Amy Poehler on her first day as a writer on SNL when, after she had made a loud vulgar joke, one of the male writers said something along the lines of "ew, that isn't cute, I don't like it".  She responded by dropping what she was doing, looking him in the eye and responding "I don't fucking care if you like it" and continuing on.  The whole book is worth that scene in my opinion, because that sentence is something we as women really need to say more often.

I bring this up because as I was reading Kitty Lovett's post on lipstick today and I have so many thoughts (not on lipstick colors, I mean sometimes, but on beauty/fashion rules in general) so instead of writing a comment-novel I am posting here.  If you wear a lot of makeup or extreme or dramatic makeup (like cool-colored or black lipstick) at some point it will be man-splained to you that guys don't really it when girls wear a lot of makeup, which is a) BS, b) almost astonishingly hetero-normative, but if you shrug and say "what if I don't like guys" dude will stammer and then swear that he also has his finger on the pulse of lesbian sartorial preferences, and c)it is pretty much guaranteed that the person saying this to you is not someone you want to sleep with anyway.  The best part is how often this guy will act like he is a feminist hero for saying this, liberating the ladeeyz from their make up routines.  We are supposed to respond by thanking our man-splainer and realizing the folly of our ways and going home to clean off our makeup and buy an equal quantity of products which effect a natural look (because as Miss Kitty rightly said, nude lipstick is every bit as artificial as dark turquoise).  What I suggest you actually do, is look said dudebro in the eye and say "I don't care if you like it"*.

As women we are socialized to try and be like-able and to not stand up for ourselves and the things we like if they go against popular opinion.  We are socialized to try to please everyone all the time.  We are encouraged to: make ourselves up to look like we aren't wearing makeup, but never to not wear make up, to carefully dress in order to minimize large breasts or maximize small breasts (is there an okay breast size? I don't know), or butts, or hips, to re-shape our actual, not just clothed bodies, by any means necessary, and it goes without saying, to dress in the latest trends while avoiding being "a slave to fashion" or a "brainless trendoid".  Often the carrot for this epic battle of contradictory expectations is supposed to be some dude who doesn't even appreciate us for who we actually are, because he can't; he's never met that person.

 I think the path to liberation comes from being ready and willing to say to all comers: "I don't care if you like it".   Of course there are some people whose opinions you do care about.  That's fine.  Really life is better if you have people you care about whose opinion you respect, but that's not what I am talking about.  Just remember that you get to choose whose opinion you value, no one automatically gets that status. Women's choices about what we chose to do or not do with our bodies are often policed by random dudes on the street, or at a party, or just by the fear of the reactions of people we don't know or really care about, not really.  We feel like we ought to because humans are social animals and women are encouraged to be extra-social and pleasing, but really, you don't care if they like it.
Additional Reading: You Don't Have to Be Pretty.

"Over" made up and under-concerned 


* Or, if you are in an un-safe situation, just think it because the really important thing is to remind yourself.

PS: This may be incoherent rambling as I currently have a mild cold and a fever.  If that is the case, just follow the link at the bottom and read Bossypants.

Double Review: Eye Candy and Shany eye-shadow palette, and a meandering digression on visibility

Today we talk about playing with makeup.  I used to be very cautious with makeup, carefully following the "rules" laid down by ladymags about how to highlight, sculpt, and conceal various aspects of my face in order to conform to some sort of weird idealized way I was "supposed" to look.  I didn't wear black mascara or eyeliner because I was blonde*.  I was well into my early twenties before I owned my first eyeliner (now I have at least a dozen in all four formats). I avoided dark lipsticks because I was "too pale" to wear them, and I believe I even at one point purchased a subtle bronzer (which looked just as absurd as you may be imagining).  I was, in short, trying to look as much as some sort of median level of generic ladymag prettiness as I could manage.  This was not, it should be noted, in order to be attractive, but in order to be as invisible as humanly possible.  As a teen I was not a goth, not out of any lack of dark romanticism or wry sarcasm (I had both in spades), but because I was desperately hoping no one would notice me.  I am not sure exactly why.  I was never outright bullied, having a pair of seven-foot-tall brothers, one of whom is fairly protective, heavily muscled, and an occasional guest of various state correctional facilities will do that, I promise. I was just desperately insecure.  I went off to college, got more into feminism and fat acceptance, and received a serious request to be someone's nude model. I gradually became more confident, to the point that now, while I may be introverted and somewhat socially awkward, I am also fully confident of being pretty awesome and thus willing to be highly visible in public.  After an awkward college folk music and birkenstocks phase, this encroaching confidence was matched with increasing experimentation in dress, but it is really only quite recently that I have begun stepping outside a fairly narrow range of makeup looks.  I started with more extreme lipstick and eyeliner and have only very, very recently branched out into more experimental usages of eyeshadow.


The best tools in my new eyeshadow journey have been the book Eye Candy and the ridiculously cheap and highly pigmented 120 shade palette I bought from Shany cosmetics.  Naturally, one doesn't expect much from a 20$ palette of 120 shades, but this is actually some of the most highly pigmented eyeshadow I own, which compares favorably in pigmentation to Makeup Forever, MAC (although throwing yourself at the mercy of the fabulous queens at the MAC counter is still one of the most fun times you can have with makeup), or L'Oreal HIP.  it doesn't last much on it's own, but with Urban Decay Primer Potion (whose praises I will never cease singing) it stays where you put it until you take it off.  The colors are beautiful and they blend well.

Eye Candy is that most rare of style/makeup advice books which is completely non-prescriptive.  It never suggests that if you have a certain skin or eye color or shape there are certain looks or colors you can not do, but instead explains the different effects different techniques and color combos will give to different people.  The book is divided into two main sections, the first of which discusses basic technique, including blending, color choice, eyebrow shaping, and materials including brushes.  The second, and much larger section gives tutorials for a wide range of different looks, from the dramatic to the casual, although tilted towards the former.

Some are quite "runway" and perhaps not useful for many readers, but I suggest you can still learn a lot by playing with them.  These looks often boast the most interesting techniques and novel color usage.

Most qualify as wearable but dramatic



probably about a third fairly casual and easy to wear

Even if you don't find a lot of looks that you wish to wear frequently, I still think going through and playing with most of them will provide a solid education in the ways and means of eyeshadow

*In case you were ever wondering what my natural hair color really is, I believe it is still a dark honey-blonde but it hasn't been seen, except briefly earlier this year when it was not given enough time to grow out enough to be sure, in nearly a decade since I turned 16 and was allowed to first dye my hair.

All the pictures in this post are looks from Eye Candy made with Shany eyeshadow (in case that wasn't obvious).

PS: You'll notice I changed the theme.  I wanted something a bit darker as I have been tilting more towards goth than lolita, but not too dark to read (an occasional problem in the goth-o-sphere), and purple is my favorite color.

Fatspiration Friday: Big Ballet

Big Ballet is a Russian* ballet company composed entirely of dancers weighing no less than 100 kilos.  The company's choreographer, Yevgeni Panfilov formed Big Ballet to prove that dancers can be excellent at any size, and challenging the increasingly more slender aesthetic in professional ballet.  Sadly, I find the taste of Big Ballet's costumer quite questionable, but what can you do.




As a bonus: Dawn French as the Vicar of Dibley dances badly


*I have seen a few blog posts and articles implying this company should not be taken seriously since it is obviously just some weird Russian thing.  Apparently the writers were unaware that ballet is, to put it very mildly, kind of a big deal in Russia.

Fatspiration Friday: Lesiure Edition

I was reading on one of my blogs (but now, of course, I can't find it) about all the rules we fat ladies are supposed to studiously observe while getting dressed in the morning.  You know: don't wear horizontal stripes, don't wear prints that are "too large" or "too small" (by occult definitions of these terms understood only by lady mags), don't wear bright colors, and for god sakes put on some Spanx!  The horrifying punishment for violation of these rules is that someone might notice you are fat!  ZOMG! because otherwise they totally wouldn't!  As a fat lady it is (supposedly) your duty to work hard to take as little visual real estate as humanly possible least you offend the innocent passerby with your fatitude. Don't get me wrong, if you like dressing according to any or all of these rules, have fun (but are you really super sure about the Spanx, because come on how much do you need to feel like a sausage?).  Just so long as we are all clear that these are not really rules, no one is going to shoot you for breaking them, and you can absolutely be fabulous and beautiful without them, and in any case you are under no obligation to please anyone, ever, by how you look.  The great grand-daddy rule (as the mythical blog post which I can not find points out), and one that leaves you most out of current trends, is no oversize or loose clothing ever, so I today is dedicated to fat ladies in loose clothes.
Lady with a Lute, Bartomelo Veneto, 1500s

La Liseuse, Jean-Francois de Troy 1700s
Merchant's Wife, Boris Kustodiev, 1918
Liselotte, Pierre Mignard, 1675
The Merchant's wife is my favorite because I can't look at it without thinking "now there's someone who knows how to live".  She has her cat, a fabulous breakfast spread, tea, and a silk dressing gown.  That's winning at life.

As a special bonus this week (sorry again non-US readers): we have my favorite female character on Television, identifying everything wrong in the world:

Fatspiration Friday: Rock! Party! Edition

First, Rock, with the ever fabulous Beth Ditto:




And Xelle (pronounced X-L, which I love way too much) brings us a party in a subway car:



PS: If anyone can tell me where the phrase "Rock! Party!" shouted by an androgynously voiced Japanese singer before the opening strains of a J-Rock song come from they will be my hero, because I have it stuck in my head, and until I can hear the rest of the song it will likely stay here.

PPS: I'll be doing the 30-day Lolita challenge on my tumblr, and may post a summary or two here, if anyone is interested in following along (be warned: I am kind of addicted to tumblr and post alor).

Fatspiration Friday

Hopefully this will be another regular feature.  I got the idea from the late lamented "Huge", a surprisingly nuanced, thoughtful, and feeling show about kids at fat camp:



Summary for Non-US readers: In a crappy summer camp cabin Niki Blonsky is cutting up teen magazines: "It is my duty as an angry feminist to destroy it."
Catty girl: "So I guess you can't afford your own magazines"
Angelic Blonde: "Don't even talk to her"
Niki Blonsky "Yeah, don't even talk to me." *defiant shirt removal*
Angelic Blonde (looking at pictures of classical art fat ladies stuck all over Niki Blonsky's bed post and officially rationed wall space): What's that?
Niki Blonsky: "It's fatspiration"
Angelic Blonde scoffs in disgust at Blonsky's failure to understand that fat ladies are ugly and she really ought to hate herself.

In the show this was a response to Angelic Blonde posting a whole lot of "thinspiration", or pictures of skinny women meant to "inspire" the viewer to become thin and beautiful instead of being fat and disgusting.  Thinspiration was originally a practice encouraged on pro-ana sites but has migrated to mainstream dieting practice (because what's a better idea than taking cues from people devoted to promoting their own and others' mental disorders? amiright).  Oh course unlike its thinner, disturbed sister fatspiration is not about promoting the idea that only fat is beautiful or that you should be trying to make yourself fatter.  That's just silly. It's about showing that all bodies can have beauty (and not in some crappy inner beauty kind of way) including, most importantly, your own.  This of course includes thin people, but yours truly is fairly convinced the documentation of beautiful thin people has been well-covered,oh, pretty much everywhere.

Since most of the "fat ladies in art" you find is classical; I decided to start with one of my favorite contemporary artists: Ursula Vernon.

All Images are exclusive copyright of Ursula Vernon re-posted with permission.


Special bonus not-really-fat-not-not-model-waifish picture just cause awesome

Your Fat Acceptance Reading List

Dancer from Russia's "Big Ballet"
Us librarian types love a good reading list.  It's right up there with shushing.  If you are new to the world of fat acceptance or just want to learn more about it, here is my carefully curated introductory reading list.  I'll also post more reading recommendations later on, and update this list when and if I find more.

Books:
Rethinking Thin by Gina Kolata: In my opinion this is the ultimate, and if you don't read anything else on this list read this.  It is essentially a literature review (as written by a journalist, therefore an engaging version of  a literature review) of a battery of scientific studies that prove primarily: no one knows how to make fat people thin, no one knows how to make thin people fat and fat biological parents have fat children regardless of where they are raised and visa-versa for thin people, and that there is little to no evidence that obesity in itself (except at the very extreme end) has a negative effect on mortality.

Screw Inner Beauty (Known in most of the world as Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere but I really prefer the Australian title, more on that later): This is a more socio-political and personal take on fat acceptance, and primarily discusses both the ramifications of fat in society and how you as an individual can accept/love your body and think about eating and exercise in a post-dieting/weight loss way. That was a little scattered, but um, try it, you'll like it.

Blogs
Now I must shame-facedly admit that actually I mostly didn't read all that many FA books, I mostly just read blogs, here is a listing of canonical blog posts, without descriptions as this way I may eventually publish this shiz.

Health and Nutrition

But Isn't Fat Unhealthy?: you've seen this one before, but it bears repeating.
Health at Every Size: Choice or Coercion: this is probably the best summary of Health at Every Size I have read, even better than the HAES Manifesto, which you would think...
Weight Science: Evaluating the Evidence for a Paradigm Shift: It's peer-reviewed!
Eat Food, Stuff you Like, As Much as You Want
Food Isn't Poison

Fatshion and Visibility

Why the Pictures Matter: This is why I *Heart* Lesley Kinzel so hard and why I post pictures too
The Fat Body (In)Visible: very cool documentary about fat visibility and fashion, NSFW in the first and last few minutes due to pictures from the Adipositivity project
I Spy with my Fat Eye; On Seeing and Being Seen

Other



The Awesome Power of No
Why are you so Fat? It was Gnomes.

Other Stuff

From: Fatpocalypse
BMI Project: Pictures of different people and what their BMI.  It is incredibly revelatory, especially the "overweight" category.

The Museum of Fat Love: because it's adorable.

Shapely Women (which is where I got the image on the banner): an interesting blog of art depicting women of all sizes from many different periods.