Hello World!

I am Sabayon and I will be your guide to the exciting world of being a big fat lolita and loving it.  I am a grad student in Library Science in the lovely city of Pittsburgh (and no I don't mean that sarcastically.  Pittsburgh has beautiful architecture, a great, affordable arts scene, and a friendly populace).  I am 25, which practically makes me an elder of the tribe in lolita, and I will say that some aspects of the fashion belong on the Murtaugh list as far as I am concerned.  I am, for instance, too old for this stuff*. I mostly identify with the classic aesthetic, but have a darkly and decadently tinged sort of outlook that makes me leak towards the gothy, and I love, LOVE creepy-cute.  I am also pretty new on the lolita scene, although I have long been a devotee of things frilly.  Some may think to question then, can I really call myself that or is this a passing phase.  My answer is, yes! to both! When I was not so very much younger (I'm thinking median 19) I thought I was supposed to be finding myself, the one true thing I am "supposed" to be, or "really am".  I thought I was supposed to be, as Joseph Campbell used to say "finding my bliss".  It never occurred to me that such a thing might be an unending quest, and the point is to just follow it.  Your Beluga Best Friend said it better than I can think how to.  In other words, I am really passionate about this thing right now so I am going to think about it, talk about, and write about and just generally be fully engaged because right now I find it terribly fun.  Should I change in a month or year or ten, tant pis, it was fun in the meanwhile.  However, I don't expect it to be ever-so passing.  I am enjoying myself way too much for that.

That's all the intro to moi I can think of.

What will be in this blog

  • Reviews of plus-sized lolita clothes
  • Essays on fat-acceptance and fatshion
  • Articles on lolita and feminism
  • Outfit co-ords and polyvore based fantasy dressing
  • Random book and movie recomendations
  • Etc, related to the above
What you won't see here
  • Any items that are not available in at least a US women's dress size 12.  That is fully half my own dress size, but is plus-sized in lolita-land.  I am not going to faun over some brand dress when said label flat refuses to even approach catering to me.  Life's too damn short.
  • Diet talk, and that extends to the comments, any comments about dieting will be deleted.**
  • Wire Hangers.  Ever!

Now to my anticipated FAQ


What's with the title?  I hope it evokes the old anarcho-feminist slogan "Riots not Diets".  I'm not really the rioting type, and much prefer having the audacity to be fat, visible, and be-ruffled in a world that urges me to endeavor to be as invisible as possible.  I also considered "Fat Princess" in homage to the awful PS3 game which evokes a certain fat-lolita-y-ness.  However: a) that game really was awful and I wouldn't want to seem to endorse it to the casual observer, b) I'm not really a princess-y sort of person.  I  am basically the sort of person who would rather be the dragon slayer or evil queen any day of the the week.

What is "lolita"? A Japanese street fashion that emerged during the Girl movement of the 1980's and features a bell-shaped silhouette, a very modest dress code, highly feminine and frilly motifs, and draws inspiration from the Victorian and Rococo periods...sort of, you know Rococo as interpreted by Japanese teen girls.  It has no relationship to the Nabokov novel.  The label was applied from outside the sub-culture and most Japanese ladies were not familiar enough with the work to have punched people in the face when such people first started calling them that.  It's not about appealing to pedophiles, as it turns out they know the difference between a small girl and a grown woman in a kitty-print dress; in fact it's really not about appealing to men at all.  A good primer to the style can be found at lolitafashion.org

What is Fat Acceptance? Well this is a pretty large (pun intended!) topic, so I will be posting an FA-101 reading list in the coming weeks, probably sooner than later.  To condense down what is actually a fairly complex philosophy and an incredibly difficult thing to fully wrap your mind around if you have been socialized in mainstream America: some people are fat, some people are skinny, get over it.

Okay, but why do you need to use the f-word?  Well sometimes when you stub your toe really hard or get passed over at the bus stop when you are already running late there is just nothing else that quite expresses your true feelings.
Okay, seriously now: there is a large vocabulary in the english-speaking world devoted to not calling someone fat (voluptuous, curvy, plus-sized, zaftig, overweight, etc), and indeed used as an epithet or as short-hand for "ugly and unlovable" it is obviously rude, but otherwise I view "fat" as simply descriptive and value-neutral.  My dress may be plus-sized, but I am not a dress.  Overweight implies that there is a weight I ought to be, and which I am over, which I reject.  Being cello-shaped, I am only somewhat curvy and voluptuous  but not all fat ladies are, and plenty of curvyvoluptuous women are not fat.  Zaftig is a term of admiration, and it's probably what I would prefer a lover call me, but I don't expect admiration from the whole world.  Big ladies are not everyone's cup of tea, and that's fine, there's nothing wrong with having a type as long as you don't act like someone who you don't find attractive couldn't possibly be attractive to anyone.  I think "fat" is a good neutral term for someone who, well has a good amount of fat on them, and avoiding using it implies that fat is some sort of horrifying unspeakable thing.

I also maintain a blog about crafting, mostly sewing and knitting, but occasional other diy-type stuff as well.  A lot of my stuff, obviously, is lolita but not all, feel free to check it out.


*Not that I would criticize or even snicker privately about someone who felt differently.  One's Murtaugh list is a deeply personal thing, and age-based dressing requirements are BS.
**Not sure if I should write any more of a comment policy.  Okay here goes: No diet-talk or self-hating comments, no homophobic, transphobic, racist or otherwise asshole-ish comments.  Be excellent to each other.
Category: 6 comments

6 comments:

Sarahbelle said...

I prefer to be referred to as "zaftig" myself. I used to like "voluptuous", but I now feel that it has vaguely sexual implications that don't always fit.

This looks like interesting reading.
I can't wait to see what comes next!!

C. L. Hanson said...

The label was applied from outside the sub-culture and most Japanese ladies were not familiar enough with the work to have punched people in the face when such people first started calling them that.

lol, you're off to an excellent start! Can I add you to Outer Blogness?

Sabayon said...

Sarahbelle, you know it turns out there is a fairly decadent deli in Brooklyn called Zaftigs. Now, I'm not saying we should go to New York just for a deli with a fun name. I mean, there's art and stuff too.

Chanson, Yes! I was actually meaning to send you a message to that effect, but got distracted by something else shiny on the internet.

Sarahbelle said...

Any excuse for us to take a bite out to the Big Apple is a good one!!!

Atelier Nao said...

Hey Sabayon! I think you are an awesome lady so I'll be fallowing your blog. I hope you don't mind ^__^.

Sabayon said...

Awww, thanks so much, Nao! that really made my day. I have been so happy watching your designs coming out and think you are a pretty awesome lady too!

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